Girlfriends guide to dating a geek


21-May-2020 18:33

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Other people are mystified by the appeal of Megan Fox or Anna Paquin or Kerry Washington or Morena Baccarin or Jordana Brewster.I know women who can’t get past Tyrese Gibson’s five-head, George Clooney’s head-wobble or the fact that Kit Harrington probably uses more product than they do.(credit: Jaguar PS / Shutterstock.com)" src=" width="333" height="500" srcset=" sizes="(max-width: 333px) 100vw, 333px" / Now, late to the party as I may be, I have to say that this does bring up the ever-popular topic of whether it’s possible to date someone who is “out of your league”.After all, many of us know someone who punches above his or her weight class, dating people who they – by all rights – should have based on the flawed idea that the only thing that people value is looks.We get so hung up on beauty privilege, the halo effect, the value of facial symmetry and waist-to-hip ratios and the idea that only 20% of whomever get 80% of the fucking that we tend to ignore things that don’t fit the accepted narrative.It’s a self-reinforcing story; we don’t accept the idea that someone who looks like Lena Dunham could score with a guy who looks like Patrick Wilson because we never see it in the media.We never see it in the media because nobody accepts the idea that it could happen and so like an oroborous with an eating disorder, the cycle perpetuates itself.

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So while I may be a little behind the pop-culture curve, there are certain issues that I find fascinating from an outsider’s perspective.

Whenever we see someone who isn’t conventionally attractive dating somebody who is more attractive we often dismiss the relationship as somehow invalid; clearly he has money, or a high-status job or some other external quality that the more attractive partner desires enough that she is willing to put up with having to toss the cave troll a handy every now and then.

It’s impossible – or so the assumptions go – that perhaps she’s legitimately attracted to him, that attractiveness and desire are about more than just the accepted definitions of good looks.

Hell, this is why cops tend to date ER nurses; they exist in the same world, and understand the trials and tribulations that the job entails.

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They work well with each other because they can understand the realities of what that relationship is going to mean.

The same thing applies to most models, pro athletes, and rock stars – it’s a rough, demanding life and it takes a very specific type of person to date someone whose career means that they may not be home for months or even .



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However, judging from Oprah, Dear Abby, and countless magazines and relationship columnists it apparently needs to be mentioned. Men get the same charge out of porn as they do from watching You Tube videos of explosions, fights, and guys getting hit in the nuts. So drop all the female centric opinions about porn and what it means if your man watches it. Women we don’t find attractive are the most frustrating. Men like to be in the presence of attractive women. If we are in the grocery store, and there are three checkout lines of equal length, we will choose to wait in the line with the most attractive checker. By Saturday I was so mad I didn’t even enjoy the sex.… continue reading »


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